so here i go again, ranting about my family.
i wrote my dad a letter asking why are family is the way it has been lately. my brother has moved out because my dad told him too. my mom and i are stuck in the middle between the fights between my dad and brother. my mom has been drifiting from the family doing her own thing. i have been going out lately so that i dont have to come to a home where their is sooo much tension where when you walk in you know their is something wrong with our family. i dont think i can do it anymore because its so stressful to me. at times this is the reason what has been causing my depression to get worse. but all my friends know i am that kind of a person who is going to keep my problems to myself without telling anyone what is wrong with me till the day that i really just breakdown. i can’t do this anymore if this is the family that i have to live with. i told my mom that i just need space because its been hard on me already trying to make them proud to graduate and my plans for college. since my brother disappointed them, my dad basically just gave up on him and has been his goals for both of his kids into one, me. i dont think that he understands where i am coming from. i got a job to help them out with their bills that he has been behind on. i mean if he wants to keep pointing out my flaws and my past mistakes, i honestly wish i could do it to him too but i know that two wrongs dont make a right. man i dont know what to do anymore with this family. and i know that family is what is supposed to make you happy i dont think thats in my case. i guess we will see in time :/
